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Characters 2: Perry the Platypus

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Continuing the characters theme:

Back on the 4th, some friends posted on Facebook about what they discovered at their local Walmart:

(#1)

A karaoke machine — a Perry the Platypus CD player (from Disney) — on sale for $38.99. (A Hello Kitty player was also available at the store. Characters tend to travel in packs.)

Background from my 10/18/15 posting “Morning: monotreme, marsupial”:


(#2) Perry on the job, on tv

Perry the Platypus is “an anthropomorphic platypus from the animated television series Phineas and Ferb” (on the Disney Channel). He’s Phineas and Ferb’s pet platypus, living a double life as a member of the all-animal espionage organization O.W.C.A. (Organization Without a Cool Acronym).

Merchandising of the character includes plush toys, t-shirts, wooden toys, glasses, and coloring books, along with appearances in spin-off fiction and a 2009 video game for the Nintendo DS.

Some of this stuff comes from Disney. This 9-in. plush toy, for example:

(#3)

Disney even makes Perry baseball caps.

But some Perryana is free-lance stuff. Several adventurous cooks have tackled the task of realizing Perry as a fondant cake. For instance, this nicely executed version from the catjuggling site on 9/28/14:

(#4)

Otherwise, outside of Disney, you can find Perry in papier mache, as a pinata, of wood, in a 3D printed version, in vinyl, and in foam core material.

And of course, there are Perry costumes. Very cute costumes for children, and even these whimsical pajamas:


(#5) From Amazon: Perry the Platypus adult hooded one-piece costume pajamas

At this point, we’re a long way from platypuses.


Get your cruise face on

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(About the social-sexual world of gay men — men negotiating for sex — so much of this is not for kids or the sexually modest.)

Two recent Daily Jocks postings featuring men displaying their bodies in what is clearly a sexual offer, with accompanying facial expressions: from July 9th, a DJ ad for CellBlock13 underwear, with a model performing two different cruises; and from July 11th, a selfie that won a DJ gift box for its subject:


(#1) On the left, crotch display and Engaged Face (“Hey, buddy, we can do this”); on the right, butt display and Seductive Face (“Think you can handle this, big boy?”)

Ad copy:

CellBlock13 is the raunchy big daddy to its founder Timoteo. Created with a unique style for the man that likes to get down and dirty in his underwear choices, you’ll love CellBlock13’s risqué and seductive designs.

The Cyber X-treme collection features brand new Harnesses, Jockstraps and Shorts with both the latter featuring a detachable pouch and c-ring.

Yes, the pouch unsnaps in a jiffy, so its wearer can achieve an instant response to the exigencies of the sexual moment.


(#2) Frontal muscle fantasy and Supercilious Face (“Look on my body, you peon, and despair!”); Diego is modeling the Varsity brand Debut jockstrap in light blue and teal

Then there’s street cruising, with its apotheotic facial expression, the Killer Cruise, aka the Cruise of Death:


(#3) From my 7/30/11 posting “X of death, killer X”, a cartoon from Ortleb & Fiala’s 1978 book of gay cartoons, Relax! This book is only a phase you’re going through

The facial expression for classic cruising-for-sex between strangers in public is impassive, betraying no emotion; what’s important is the exchange of gaze, held for much longer than would normally be polite in the circumstances. As here, in this bear-cruising photo by Boots Bryant (more on him below):


(#4) In the next photo in the series, Checked Shirt goes down on Business Suit

On to cruising. From NOAD:

verb cruise: [no object, with adverbial] 1 [a] sail about in an area without a precise destination, especially for pleasure: they were cruising off the California coast | [with object]: she cruised the canals of France in a barge. [b] take a vacation on a ship or boat following a predetermined course, usually calling in at several ports. [c] (of a vehicle or person) travel or move slowly around without a specific destination in mind: a police van cruised past us | [with object]: teenagers were aimlessly cruising the mall. [d] informal wander about a place in search of a casual sexual partner: he spends his time cruising and just hanging out in New Orleans | [with object]: he cruised the gay bars of Los Angeles. [e] [with object] informal walk past and assess (a potential sexual partner): he was cruising a pair of sailors. ORIGIN mid 17th century (as a verb): probably from Dutch kruisen ‘to cross’, from kruis ‘cross’, from Latin crux.

[d] and [e] are the mansexually relevant senses.

Guys can cruise each other anywhere, even on elegant shopping streets and in farm fields, but there are canonical sites for public cruising:  certain men’s rooms (for t-room action) and cruising areas of woods and parks. This activity is rarely represented in mainstream media, but it surfaces occasionally (often with the scent of scandal clinging to it).

An example from cruising areas of parks: from my 8/19/17 posting “An urban jungle”, a section on The Ramble in NYC’s Central Park, featuring Al Pacino in the film Cruising. And from t-rooms: from my 4/25/18 posting “At the t-room urinals”, a section on Frank Ripploh’s film Taxi zum Klo.

Some photographers have specifically celebrated public cruising in their works. From the Advocate site on 10/21/17, in “61 Photos of Men Cruising for It in Public” by Christopher Harrity:

In these photographs, [Long Beach CA-based artist] Boots Bryant [Kevin Johnson] depicts the tense erotic rituals of traditional public cruising

On  Bryant’s Facebook page he characterizes himself as an

Artcivious [art + lascivious] shutterbug and artist. My work falls on the boundary WHERE FILTH MEETS FINE ART!

From the portfolio:


(#5) Locking eyes in the woods


(#6) T-room offer


(#7) After the eye-lock stage, the crucial stage 2: contact!

Then on The Fader site on 12/16/11, “Interview: Photographer Chad States on Cruising” by Alex Frank:


(#8) Stage 2 among the evergreens

Chad States opens his book of photographs with an old quote from writer Edmund White: “Although people still talked about sex as ‘disgusting’ and ‘filthy,’ I thought of it as romantic.” Cruising is States’ proof that this is true, a documentation of two years he spent visiting state parks around the country not to go birdwatching or take hikes, but to photograph, quite romantically, the age-old practice of cruising for gay sex in the woods. He took thousands of pictures that are amazing enough for their subject matter alone — in a world where you can watch Kim Kardashian go to the OB-GYN on syndicated television, it feels special to access one of the few remaining undocumented private spaces left. But what’s awesome is that States is more than just an anthropologist. Bathing his subjects in soft light, the work is just as much a lovely coffee table book about nature and an affirmation of the things humans do, and have always done, quite naturally. States turns something thought of as sordid into a celebration.

Jurassic Jeff

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Annals of shirtlessness, movie history section. This:


(#1) But is it art? Gigantic Jeff Goldblum in the London Era of Megafauna

From CNN on 7/18/18, “Giant Jeff Goldblum statue appears in London” by Lilit Marcus:

Twenty-five years ago, “Jurassic Park” brought velociraptors to a new generation — and broke a few box office records in the meantime.

It also had the unlikely benefit of turning Jeff Goldblum, who played Dr. Ian Malcolm in the film, into a sex symbol.

Now, to commemorate both of those events, a 25-foot, 330-pound statue of Goldblum in character as Dr. Malcolm — more specifically, as a reclining, open-shirted Dr. Malcolm — has appeared in London next to the famous Tower Bridge.

The statue will be on display through July 26, giving Jeff-loving Instagrammers plenty of time to visit.

A still of the scene in the 1993 movie:

(#2)

The scene actually makes sense in the arc of the story (I watched the whole movie again last night): Ian Malcolm has just been battered and drenched in a tropical storm and wounded in an encounter with a dinosaur, so he’s getting some medical care. (On the other hand, Malcolm is given to chest exposure, as below.)

(#3)

Malcolm gets to deliver most of the deep Science and Humankind quotes in the movie, about acting against Nature, unintended consequences, etc., plus a lecture on chaos theory while coming on to Laura Dern’s (female lead) character.

As I wrote in my 12/6/14 posting “Jeff Goldblum” (an appreciation of the actor):

The man is happy to mock himself, and incidentally to show off his beach body — which is quite nice, though not Versace-model, abs-of-death nice.

But why the statue in #1? Yes, the 25th anniversary of Jurassic Park — but, much more important, the appearance in movie theatres this year of another film (the fifth) in the Jurassic series, with Goldblum in a cameo in it.

On the new movie, from Wikipedia:

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a 2018 American science fiction adventure film and the sequel to Jurassic World (2015). Directed by J. A. Bayona, it is the fifth installment of the Jurassic Park film series, as well as the second installment of a planned Jurassic World trilogy. Derek Connolly and Jurassic World director Colin Trevorrow both returned as writers, with Trevorrow and original Jurassic Park director Steven Spielberg acting as executive producers.

… Set on the fictional Central American island of Isla Nublar, off the Pacific coast of Costa Rica, it follows Owen Grady and Claire Dearing as they rescue the remaining dinosaurs on the island before a volcanic eruption destroys it. Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, B. D. Wong, and Jeff Goldblum reprise their roles from previous films in the series, with Rafe Spall, Justice Smith, Daniella Pineda, James Cromwell, Toby Jones, Ted Levine, Isabella Sermon, and Geraldine Chaplin joining the cast.

Some critical response on the Bustle site, in “The Jeff Goldblum ‘Jurassic World 2’ Cameo Reminds Fans That Life, Uh, Finds A Way” by Johnny Brayson in June:


(#4) Dr. Ian Malcolm testifying before a U.S. Senate committee

Without question, the greatest thing about the Jurassic Park franchise, after the dinosaurs, is Jeff Goldblum. The actor’s performance as Ian Malcolm in Jurassic Park is one of the greatest in blockbuster movie history, but the character hasn’t graced a screen since 1997’s The Lost World. Until now, that is. Jeff Goldblum has a Jurassic World 2 cameo that’s totally worth the wait for fans who’ve been aching to see what Ian Malcolm has been up to.

“Life, uh, finds a way” (or “Life, er, finds a way”, depending on how you spell the hesitation noise) is a quote from the original Jurassic Park movie. From the Know Your Meme site:

“Life, Uh, Finds a Way” is a memorable quote uttered by the character Dr. Ian Malcolm in the 1993 science fiction adventure drama film Jurassic Park. Online, the quote has been both genuinely celebrated for its profound nature and parodied in the form of the phrasal template “(X) Finds a Way” by the fans of the film franchise.

The quote stems from … a scene wherein the character Dr. Ian Malcolm (portrayed by Jeff Goldblum) inquires John Hammond (portrayed by Richard Attenborough), the CEO and creator of the park, whether it is possible for the dinosaurs to breed in the wild, despite the staff’s population control efforts by allowing only females to be born through the means of genetic engineering.

— Dr. Ian Malcolm: But again, how do you know they’re all female? Does somebody go out into the park and pull up the dinosaurs’ skirts?

— [geneticist] Henry Wu [played by B.D. Wong]: We control their chromosomes. It’s really not that difficult. All vertebrate embryos are inherently female anyway, they just require an extra hormone given at the right developmental stage to make them male. We simply deny them that.

— [paleobotanist] Dr. Ellie Sattler [played by Laura Dern]: Deny them that?

— Dr. Ian Malcolm: John, the kind of control you’re attempting simply is… it’s not possible. If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it’s that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, uh… well, there it is.

— John Hammond: [sardonically] There it is.

— Henry Wu: You’re implying that a group composed entirely of female animals will… breed?

— Dr. Ian Malcolm: No. I’m, I’m simply saying that life, uh… finds a way.

As it did in the movie. The (fragmentary) DNA from dinosaur remains was supplemented by DNA from modern frogs, to fill out DNA structures. And then there’s the common reed frog (from Wikipedia):

These west African frogs have been known to spontaneously change sex from female to male. This likely occurs when the population does not have enough males to allow procreation and is accomplished when a chemical trigger activates the sex gene to disintegrate the female organs and develop the male ones.

So some of the Jurassic Park dinosaurs switched from female to male and bred with females. Uh-oh.

Meanwhile, if a velociraptor knocks at your door, don’t answer.

Hi-g pun for Xmas in July

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(Friendly warning: this posting will end up with some ads for gay porn, with some mildly raunchy text.)

… in today’s Bizarro/Wayno collaboration:


(#1) (If you’re puzzled by the odd symbols in the cartoon — Dan Piraro says there are 3 in this strip — see this Page.)

I’ve been inundated with hi-g (high groan-producing) puns this week, but this one plugs into other e-mail I’ve been getting this week, for Christmas in July events of various kinds — though not, in my experience, marathon re-playings of the melancholy-saccharine holiday song “White Christmas” made famous by Bing Crosby in the 1942 movie Holiday Inn:


(#2) “White Christmas” — and more Binglemas hits

From Wikipedia:.

Christmas in July is a Christmas celebration held in the month of July, the nature of which differs by hemisphere.

… The term, if not the exact concept, was given national attention with the release of the Hollywood movie comedy Christmas in July in 1940, written and directed by Preston Sturges. In the story, a man is fooled into believing he has won $25,000 in an advertising slogan contest. He buys presents for family, friends, and neighbors, and proposes marriage to his girlfriend.

(#3)

… American advertisers began using Christmas in July themes in print for summertime sales as early as 1950. In the United States, it is more often used as a marketing tool than an actual holiday. Television stations may choose to re-run Christmas specials, and many stores have Christmas in July sales. Some individuals choose to celebrate Christmas in July themselves, typically as an intentionally transparent excuse to have a party. This is in part because most bargainers tend to sell Christmas goods around July to make room for next year’s inventory.

A cute poster on the HUG of Tampa Bay FL site (resources and programs for “handicapable young adults”) for its Christmas in July summer camp:


(#4) Starfish Santas on the beach in Florida (or a place that looks like it)

Then on the purely commercial front, from my 7/18/15 posting “Late summer porn sales”, about Christmas in July gay porn from C1R and TitanMen:

C1R wasn’t inventive; they just declared a “summer splash sale” and offered up chunks of their inventory, plus a new flick, It All Cums Down to Cock (cramming cum, the down of go down on, and cock into a six-word title). The material in their ad, reproduced in an AZBlogX posting (note: visually and verbally X-rated), is undistinguished except for a steamy shot from the new flick (with slim twink Devin Dixon admiring hunk Jason Phoenix’s penis).

But TitanMen went for playful cleverness, with a “Christmas in July” ad campaign.

(#5)

The ad campaign highlighted scenes from two TitanMen flicks, Impulse (with porn veterans Adam Killian and Jessy Ares) and R.E.M. (with relatively fresh faces Carlos Marquez and Dirk Lang). The Impulse scene features underwater fellatio, a surprisingly popular theme in gay porn, despite its real-life drawbacks. The R.E.M. scene has the Latino hunk Marquez served up to the slenderer, somewhat punkish, German Lang on a golden platter; hey, it’s a dream fantasy. Visual details, and the ad copy, on AZBlogX.

Then in my e-mail today, this ad from TitanMen:


(#6) A shirtless cock-tease for the holidays

The Mr Man Hollywood Exposed website is a subscription service providing “Nude Male Celebs in Pics, Clips, and HD Movies”.

You could enjoy this material at a Jule-Yule sex party, with complimentary red Santa caps for all participants, red and green condoms, and of course a really big Yule log.

I Am Your Bottom

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(Taste alert: hunky guy in underwear, sexual double entendres. No explicit linguistics.)

(News flash: accompanying “Are You My Bottom?” posting to come soon.)

From Daily Jocks on the 23rd, with my caption:

(#1)

I Am Your Bottom

SpoJo exudes
Urgent desire
Coupled with
Anxiety verging on
Dread, while his

Fleshy buttocks
Press their own
Cheeky agenda

The DJ ad copy, titled and arranged as free verse:

It all comes down to the pouch

Lovers of comfortable,
supportive and sporty
underwear will
truly appreciate the
Helsinki Athletica
Sport range

The low rise design
is great for
everyday wear
with the soft mesh
fabric ensuring
all-day comfort and
you can be sure of
excellent support in the
dual-layered
pouch

The many moods of the model known here as SpoJo:


(#2) Sport Trunk SpoJo, dba PouchMaster


(#3) Sport Jock-Brief SpoJo, performing nitely at the BumBoyRoom


(#4) Sport Brief SpoJo, three-time jizznastics medalist

Male crop tops!

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The title of a Humans of Tumblr video on June 21st:


(#1) From Sleepaway Camp (1983), Frank Trent Saladino Jr. (b. 1953), playing camp counselor Gene at a baseball game (in full costume: sleeveless crop top, short shorts, and tube socks)

What happened to the male crop top? Male crop tops were all the rage in the ’80s and ’90s [and a rhyming name was especially attractive]. Here are some of the quintessential male crop top moments worth remembering. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Will Smith in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Johnny Depp’s cropped jersey in A Nightmare on Elm Street. Here’s Bruce Jenner rockin’ the crop in Can’t Stop the Music. And Apollo Creed from the Rocky films just had to show off his goods. Cropped tank tops were popular as well. But as we all know, no male crop top was complete without short shorts and tube socks. As seen in this classic scene [a baseball game] from Sleepaway Camp [see the screen capture above].  Should we bring this trend back?

(Hat tip to Daniel MacKay in the Facebook lgbt group,  posting the link for its homoerotic pleasures — “for those among us who love boy bellies”.)

Some of them are are indeed the smooth bellies of sweet boys, beautiful young Apollo figures in a display of vulnerability, as here:

(#2)

But some are the furry abs of hunky men, powerful Dionysius figures in a display of muscularity, as in #1, or in the Hot Jock variant, all hard abs and athleticism (in this case without the fur):

(#3)

And some are the midriffs of men with more complex presentations of self, as here:


(#4) A model for Frankie Morello, on the runway in an impudent t-shirt that originally read F*** ME I’M FRANKIE MORELLO”S FRIEND, but has had the FRIEND cropped off, to display his midriff and up the cheekiness of the slogan

(Launched in 1999, the Frankie Morello brand, of fashion for both men and women, is a partnership between Maurizio Modica and Pierfrancesco Gigliotti.)

In an athletic context, such male garments are designed to allow freedom of movement while providing  fabric at the chest and underarms to soak up sweat; otherwise, they’re fashion statements, designed to show off the mid-section of their wearer as vulnerable or powerful (or, often, both). But what are these garments called?

I made a first stab at answering that question in a 5/1/10 posting “DEFINE “SCRIMMAGE T-SHIRT””, about this number:


(#5) (Like #1, both bottom-cropped and sleeveless.)

The sleeveless scrimmage tee in the … photo is (apparently) sometimes called a cropped scrimmage tee, which is clear though wordy. Unfortunately, cropped t-shirt is also used, reasonably enough, for bottomless scrimmage t-shirts. And scrimmage t-shirts are mostly (but not only) for men, though half t-shirts and midriff t-shirts (or midriff tops) seem to be very predominantly for women (or little girls).

Sleevelessness was the focus of that posting, but here we’re into bottom-cropping, which I touched on only briefly in that posting.

From the OED on crop/cropped top/tee (relevant nominals in the cites boldfaced):

adj.crop in OED3 (June 2005) = adj. cropped.

Etymology: Either < crop v.or shortened < cropped adj.[by t/d-deletion]. Esp. in crop top.

1957 Newark (Ohio) Advocate & Amer. Tribune 28 Feb. 32/1 (advt.) Look for softer box jackets..and short crop jackets.

1971 News Jrnl. (Mansfield, Ohio29 Apr. 33/1 (caption) Crocheted crop-top is a great look for today.

1982 Washington Post 20 May c5/1 Baggy sweat pants and shapeless tops have turned into minis, crop pants,..harem pants and shorts.

1990 California Apr. 74 A sequined crop top makes a sparkling swimsuit cover-up.

1995 Kay’s Catal. Autumn–Winter 4/1 Latest mohair mix crop sweater with front cable design.

2001 B. Hatch Internat. Gooseberry 226 She had..a tattoo on her belly, which you could see under her crop-top.

adj. cropped in OED2, draft addition Jan. 2005):

Of a garment: cut shorter than is usual. Cf. crop adj.

[1951 Ironwood (Mich.) Daily Globe 17 Aug. 8/4 The very full, new skirts are worn with short-cropped jackets.]

1954 News Jrnl. (Mansfield, Ohio23 Feb. 20/1 Party coats are being shown in full-length styles and in tiny, cropped jackets.

1970 Vogue Jan. 37/1 Pillar box cotton jersey for the jeans..and cropped T-shirt.

1982 N.Y. Times (Nexis) 21 Dec. b16 We are continuing the..short cropped tops, which we’re making even shorter.

1999 Daily Tel. 23 Sept. 5/2 Belts made from shells were slung around the hips of..cropped pants.

All the cites are about women’s wear.  In fact,  for a long time the only crop(ped) tops for men in my recollected experience (which might be faulty) were scrimmage shirts, worn by football players. Male crop tops for show appeared in the 1970s, as I recall, and became a thing in the 1980s. From Wikipedia:

A crop top (also cropped top, belly shirt, half shirt, midriff shirt, midriff top, tummy top, short shirt, and cutoff shirt) is a top, the lower part of which is high enough to expose the waist, navel, or some of the midriff. The cropping of a top in this manner is more popular among females but have since grown as a fashion trend for men as a comeback from the 80s

… The early history of the crop top intersects with cultural attitudes towards the [bare] midriff, starting with the performance of [“belly dancer”] “Little Egypt” at the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair. Although the crop top started gaining prominence in the fashion industry during the 1930s and 1940s — the latter in particular due to fabric rationing in World War II — it was largely confined to beachwear at the time. It was not until the sexual revolution of the late 1960s and early 1970s that it started to achieve widespread acceptance, promoted by celebrities such as Barbara Eden and Jane Birkin. A variant style, the tied top or knotted shirt, also started appearing in 1940s fashion and spread in popularity during the 1960s.

“A fashion trend for men as a comeback from the 80s”: yes, indeed. They’re back. Lots of buzz in the trendy media, and a whole bunch of Pinterest boards devoted to documenting the revival of men’s crop tops:  Here are five:

ThePrinceJoshua
MrFussie
ChaunceyMansel
a NZ board
a UK board

And three YouTube (clickable) videos:

(#6) Twink fashionista Brando Moon on how to wear crop tops; lots of saucy poses

(#7) Connor Manning, a young, thin, gay man announcing a Boys in Crop Tops movement as a gender statement

(#8) Thomas in Action video (2017) on Men in Crop Tops as a fashion thing (Thomas is openly gay); he has a bunch of his t-shorts cropped:

on top of having 3 of my shirts cropped to the shitter I decided to get 3 others cropped to my [waist] line to give a “shirt is too short” effect and I was actually really happy with how they turned out and can’t wait to wear them over the coming months before winter.

I also find it really funny that Crop Tops for men were a thing years ago. [AZ: cut him some slack; he’s young] … obviously after seeing crop tops on men everywhere I did some research and it’s turns out superstars like Prince were wearing crop tops way back!!!

But yes, Prince in the 1980s. Two shots from his performances:


(#9)

Cultural knowledge

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Three recent cartoons in my feed that depend on their readers supplying crucial bits of background cultural information: a Rhymes With Orange from the 1st (the eating habits of Japanese movie monsters); a Mother Goose and Grimm from the 1st (the His Master’s Voice dog); and today’s Bizarro/Wayno collab (clergy visiting parishioners).

In each case, the cartoon shows some situation from everyday life (which you have to know about) juxtaposed with, or translated into, another more remarkable world (which you also need to know details of).

Rhymes: workers feeding creatures on lunch break, the appetities of Japanese movie monsters.

(#1)

The everyday situation is workers having their lunches, out of doors if possible, on benches, in a park if there’s one close by.


(#2) Construction workers on lunch break

Even if the workers are doing high steel:


(#3) On lunch break during the building of the Empire State Building

Anywhere out of doors, they’re importuned by creatures (pigeons, but especially cheeky squirrels) for bits of food.


(#4) Feeding squirrels in the park

Meanwhile, in the world of Japanese movie monsters, Gojira / Godzilla is famous for his appetite for buildings, trains, and other bits of infrastructure:


(#5) Gojira eats Tokyo

#1 maps the lunch-break world into the world of kaiju, Japanese monsters, especially in the movies.

MGG: finicky audiophiles, Nipper the phonograph dog (and the dogs Grimm and Ralph).

(#6)

The everyday situation is a complaint about the passion of some men for audio perfection, especially over the superiority of recordings on vinyl disks — records — over later media. All of that has been translated into the world of dogs: the talking (and generally very anthropomorphic) dogs Grimm and Ralph from MGG, as they view their audiophile companion, who you have to recognize as the dog advertising various phonograph / grammophone companies.

The dog is named Nipper, but you don’t have to know that. From Wikipedia:


(#7) “Dog looking at and listening to a phonograph. Francis Barraud’s 1895 painting of Nipper looking into an Edison Bell cylinder phonograph.”

Nipper (1884–1895) was a dog from Bristol, England, who served as the model for a painting by Francis Barraud titled “His Master’s Voice”. This image was the basis for the dog-and-gramophone commercial logo, one of the world’s most famous used by several audio recording and associated company brands, including Berliner Gramophone and its various successors, affiliates, and successors, including Berliner’s German subsidiary Deutsche Grammophon; Berliner’s American successor the Victor Talking Machine Co. (later known as RCA Victor and then RCA Records); Victor’s Bluebird label; Zonophone; Berliner’s (and later Victor’s) British affiliate the Gramophone Co. Ltd. (informally known as His Master’s Voice) and its successors EMI and HMV Retail Ltd.; the Gramophone Co.’s German subsidiary Electrola; Zonophone; and onetime Victor subsidiary the Japan Victor Company (JVC).


(#8) The image made into a Victrola ad

Bizarro/Wayno: a clergical visit for a meal, the life of dogs.


(#9) (If you’re puzzled by the odd symbols in the cartoon — Dan Piraro says there are 3 in this strip — see this Page.)

You need to recognize the situation: a young couple, presumably husband and wife, are standing at the front door of their house (you might reflect on what signals that interpretation), facing a clergyman, who is thanking them for having him in their house (he says that) and giving him a meal (that’s not quite what he says). Here you need to recognize the things that pick him out as a clergyman who’s just had a meal with the couple.

First, the clerical collar. From Wikipedia:


(#10) Christina Lövestam, a Lutheran priest in the Church of Sweden

A clerical collar, clergy collar, or Roman collar, is an item of Christian clerical clothing. The collar closes at the back of the neck, presenting a seamless front. The shirt may have the collar built in. The clerical tab is almost always white and was originally made of cotton or linen but is now frequently made of plastic. Sometimes it is attached with a collaret or collarino that covers the white collar almost completely, except for a small white square at the base of the throat, and sometimes with the top edge of the collar exposed to mimic the collar of a cassock. It may simply be a detachable tab of white in the front of the clerical shirt. The clerical shirt is traditionally black (or another color appropriate to a person’s ministry rank, such as purple for Anglican bishops), but today is available in a variety of colors depending on the wearer’s preference. Once the clerical collar is removed the garment is indistinguishable from any other shirt. When clergy are delivering sermons, they sometimes attach preaching bands to their clerical collar.

… Invented in the Presbyterian Church [1840-1880], the clerical collar was adopted by other Christian denominations, including Anglican Church, Methodist churches, Eastern Orthodox Church, Baptist churches, Lutheran churches, and the Roman Catholic Church. Prior to the Second Vatican Council (1962-1965) the practice of Roman Catholic clergy wearing the clerical collar as street-dress tended to be found only in those countries where Catholicism was the minority religion.[citation needed] It was mandatory for U.S. Catholic priests starting in 1884. In the 1960s, many clergy who lived in countries where Catholicism was the dominant religion also began to wear the clerical collar rather than the soutane or cassock.

(In a nice touch, the wearer of the collar is a dog. From NOAD on the slang

noun dog collar: [a] a collar for a dog. [b] informal term for clerical collar.)

Then there’s the clergyman’s turn of phrase break biscuits, the canine translation of the scriptural language to break bread ‘to partake of food’. From OED2 under break, the phrase:

P1. to break bread:  (a) to break it for one’s own mouthfuls; hence to eat or partake of bread or food;  (b) (from the New Testament) to break it for distribution to others, to dispense bread, or fig. the bread of life; also to break the sacramental bread in the Communion of the Lord’s Supper, to administer or join in the Communion.

The scriptural texts, from the KJV:

Lamentations 4:4: The tongue of the sucking child cleaveth to the roof of his mouth for thirst: the young children ask bread, and no man breaketh it unto them.

Acts 20:7: And upon the first day of the week, when the disciples came together to break bread, Paul preached unto them, ready to depart on the morrow; and continued his speech until midnight.

Mark 14:22: And as they did eat, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and brake it, and gave to them, and said, Take, eat: this is my body.

So, in #9, a scene of a cleric with two of his parishoners is translated into a canine equivalent, with break biscuits (dog biscuits) replacing break bread.

Toga, togae, togae!

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Following up on my “Creams” posting yesterday, about names for gay bars, Betsy Herrington wrote to say that when she lived in NYC (in Chesea) in the late 90s, “there was a wonderful gay toga bar down the street called Vidi Vici Veni”. A bookish joke (playing on the slogan Veni Vidi Vici ‘I came, I saw, I conquered’ attributed to Julius Caesar, and using the slang sense ‘ejaculate’ of the English verb come) familiar to me, but not as the name of a gay bar. On a t-shirt:

(#1)

I wasn’t entirely sure what sorts of entertainments VVV offered; gay toga parties are not uncommon, and gay bars sometimes host these events:


(#2) Talbott Street bar, Indianapolis IN, in 2012


(#3) Centretown Pub, Ottawa ON, in 2014

Betsy tells me that the staff all wore togas and the decor was Roman statuary, while the patrons came in street clothes. So, a “theme bar” of a sort new to me (leather bars and C&W bars are common). Betsy doesn’t know if they had toga party nights, but gay bars are given to all sorts of theme events — drag nights, of course, and underwear parties, bear nights, Disney parties, karaoke nights, hanky code parties, game nights, and much more — so why not toga nights at a toga bar?

All this made me wonder about bar-decor themes in general (not just in gay bars), beyond relatively common themes like Wild West, New Orleans, Polynesian, jungle, and pirate: circus, clown, beach, naval, football (or baseball or hockey or whatever sport), superhero, vampire, zombie, etc. Some of these would adapt easily to a gay context, and some others would be especially appropriate there: prison, garage, firehouse, military, construction work, and so on.

(As for VVV, I haven’t been able to find any record of the place — Betsy thinks it was around 24th and 7th — but maybe some reader has recollections of it, or better skills at web-searching than mine.)

Note on the title. The beginning of the declension of the Latin noun toga, in the sg., starting with the nom., then the gen. ‘of a toga’ and the dat. ‘to a toga’.


Butch fagginess

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The Daily Jocks ad for the 13th offers frank homowear from Barcode Berlin:

(#1)

Some premium men’s underwear firms advertise to men in general (and women who buy clothes for men), though with a special pitch to gay men, but a few — among them, Barcode Berlin — aim themselves directly at a queer clientele. BB’s crop tees display attractive midriffs, and the models project muscular masculinity — solidly butch — but the tees also convey sociosexual messages in teasing and boastful ways that echo the open banter of queer men amongst themselves, acting faggy: faggy minus fem(me), butch fagginess).

The tee above advertises “I’m a slut, honey”, while the rest of the model’s presentation shouts “And I’m all man!” (Others are more outrageous). And if you ask me, that’s just as it should be: we’re men, and we should be comfortable with that; we desire men, so we should value (some forms of) masculinity in other men; however, we reject central aspects of heteronormative sexuality, and our behavior should reflect that (proudly and defiantly, if necessary); and we embrace means of establishing and reinforcing communities with one another, so we adopt (some) ways of behaving that both unite us and set us apart from other men.

The DJ sales pitch:

BITCH, YOU’RE FABULOUS

Don’t Get Naked or look Cheap & Easy, check out the latest collection from Barcode Berlin.

Whether you Love Boys or just want to treat yourself, you’ll look Fabulous in any of the 8 brand new Crop Tees we have in stock.

These are a party essential!

The t-shirt slogans:

Get Naked, Cheap and Easy, Bitch, Bear, Fetish, Bitch I’m Fabulous, Fuck Off, Love Boys

Two notable ones:


(#2) The popsicle as phallus, both offered and (especially) desired


(#3) Bitch is pretty in pink!

These garments scream “I’m queer! And butch! And that’s wonderful! You too?” They’re advertisements for one specifically gay style of masculinity. There are others: celebratorily fem(me)/sissy styles (about which I’ll have more to say in another posting); gender-fluid styles; “regular guy” homosexuality (attempting to adopt all the trappings of heteronormative masculinity except for the sex of one’s partner); MSM “just sex” configuration of male-male pairing (embracing mansex  as celebratory male bonding while rejecting gay as identity, community, or source of affectional partnership); and hypermasculine homosexuality (Berlin Barcode caters to this audience in many of its products).

About the garments: see my 8/2 posting “Male crop tops!”, on crop/cropped top/tee:

In an athletic context, such male garments are designed to allow freedom of movement while providing  fabric at the chest and underarms to soak up sweat; otherwise, they’re fashion statements, designed to show off the mid-section of their wearer as vulnerable or powerful (or, often, both).

A note on anatomy and sexuality. All the ad shots above use the same model, who projects masculinity through his stance, trim beard, short haircut, and hairy forearms and thighs. In underwear ads, you’d expect him also to display impressive abs and at least a modestly furry belly: the midsection of a muscle-hunk (a macho Dionysius figure). Instead we get the smooth hairless midsection of a beautiful boy (a twinkish Apollo figure). So his body is presented as both butch (the macho elements) and faggy (the twinkish elements).

It looks, in fact, as if the images have been shopped to smooth out the model’s belly — to achieve the desired composite of butch fagginess, presumably.

Remarkable abs (and serious pecs) are all over my underwear postings , but furry torsos seem to be something of a specialist thing: the stereotypical Hot Dude has at most a lightly furry torso; this is probably not a reflection of twink body standards (though twinks are smooth), but rather of body-builder standards, where smooth bodies are valued in displays of how developed specific muscles and muscle groups are.

I’m not an absthusiast myself — after faces, it’s chests for me — though I can still appreciate a six-pack that’s nicely developed but not obstrusive. As on this pair of bearded buddies (just barely in their sweatpants):


(#4) Abs, pecs, and light fur

(It’s left as an exercise for the viewer to list the ways in which the relationship between these two men is coded as t (more dominant) on the left, b (more subordinate) on the right.)

Now a series of male couples in underwear or swimwear, all displaying their abs (among other things) — from  a 3/31/18 feature on the OutBuzz site, “Hottest Gay Couples on Instagram”:


(#5) “Social-media-star bearded boyfriends Justin & Nick”


(#6) “Spanish heartthrobs Ignacio Pérez Rey & David Castilla”


(#7) “The most stylish and sexy Instacouple Mario Margelist & Jordan Carlyle”


(#8) “Atlanta Instastuds Rick & Griff”

A range of presentations, with Rick & Griff doing butch fagginess together: flamboyant bedroom decor, neon mini-briefs stuffed with sizable hard-ons, wild romance-novel pose, sturdy thighs and biceps, and of course those abs.

Meanwhile, facial hair is still very much a thing among us queers.

Rainbow. Sharks. Rainbow sharks.

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First, rainbow: from Andrew Winnard on Facebook, a photo of a rainbow-lit Metro escalator in Stockholm.

Then, sharks: in my posting earlier today “Central Shark”, about Sharknado Week on the SyFy channel (Trailer Park Shark (2017) is just about to begin!).

Which led me to the Italian clothing company Paul & Shark, with its sharky logo — and its line of rainbow shark t-shirts. And to a slew of artworks depicting rainbow sharks. And to a popular aquarium fish, the rainbow shark.

The rainbow escalator of Stockholm Central station. Apparently, just one of the many bits of public art in the Stockholm underground:


(#1) You can watch it in action in ths YouTube video

Trailer Park Shark. Cover art for the DVD:


(#2) Two, two, two stereotypes in one

Paul & Shark. From Wikipedia:


(#3) The company logo

Paul & Shark is an Italian clothing brand founded in 1975 by Paolo Dini, son of mill owner Gian Ludovico Dini. It has 280 stores worldwide and is headquartered in Varese.

The brand is inspired by the sail of an 18th-century clipper, inscribed with the words “Paul & Shark” seen during Dini’s visit to a small sailmaker’s workshop in Maine. GQ has called it “the sailing man’s sailing gear”. Its symbol is a shark.

P&S rainbow shark. One of their rainbow shark t-shirts (pricey, like P&S’s clothing in general):

(#4)

Rainbow shark art. The combination of themes has attracted many artists. From the Fine Art America site, here’s the digital artwork Rainbow Shark by Piotr Dulski (uploaded 2/28/18):

(#5)

The rainbow shark of zoology. From Wikipedia:

(#6)

The rainbow shark (Epalzeorhynchos frenatum) is a species of Southeast Asian freshwater fish from the family Cyprinidae. It is also variously known as the ruby shark, red-fin shark, red-finned shark, rainbow sharkminnow, green fringelip labeo, whitefin shark and whitetail sharkminnow. It is a popular, semi-aggressive aquarium fish. Unlike true sharks, which belong to the Chondrichthyes (“cartilagenous fishes”) lineage, the rainbow shark is an actinopterygiian (“ray-finned fish”).

Rainbow sharks are native to the basins of Mekong, Chao Phraya, Xe Bangfai and Maeklong in Indochina. They live in water with sandy substrates, near the river bottom. This species feeds on algae and plankton, and seasonally migrates into flooded areas, then recedes back to the rivers as the floods dry up.

[Linguistic note. The N + N compound rainbow shark, referring to the fish above, is resembloid rather than subsective: a rainbow shark isn’t a shark, but (at least to some people’s minds) it resembles one.]

Bonus: a minor-league meme. From the Know Your Meme site on Dolphins Are (Just) Gay Sharks:

(#7)

On the TV show Glee, Brittany, a stereotypical blonde cheerleader, says “Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?” to her friend. Since the airing of the episode on 13 April 2010, searches for “gay sharks” peaked on April 14, dropping by the 15th.

However, despite the sharp decline so soon after the episode, no less than three different t-shirts were created by different online retailers hoping to capitalize on the sudden quotability of the phrase.

The gay part of the meme — maybe it should be called a semi-meme or a memito —  is just a reference to same-sex sexual relations among dolphins, noted in a number of places. The shark part isn’t so easily explicable, since dolphins are known for their (general) playfulness and amiability, so it’s probably a perceived physical similarity between the aquatic mammals and the predatory fish.

Morning names: Hai Karate, Dirk Diggler

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(The Dirk Diggler section has some plain talk about men’s bodies — penises here, penises there, penises everywhere — so some readers might want to skip that section.)

Yesterday morning, the cheap men’s aftershave of the 1960s, Hai Karate, with an ad campaign that’s hard to forget (nerdy guys karate-chopping away hot models who were irrestistibly drawn to them by the powerful fumes of their Hai Karate). And then this morning, at the tail of an elaborate  character-rich dream, the dream me discovered he was actually the son of Dirk Diggler, the supremely porn-named porn star character in two movies (the mockumentary The Dirk Diggler Story and the dramatic narrative film Boogie Nights).


(#1) The Hai Karate logo: the kanji ‘east’ (as in Tōkyō) plus the rising sun of Japan


(#2) Mark Wahlberg as DD in Boogie Nights

The scent of Hai Karate. It’s not pheromones, but a citrus aroma suspended in alcohol, that drives the ladies crazy:


(#3) 1967 print ad; you can watch a 1970s UK tv ad with model Valerie Leon here

Hai Karate was a budget aftershave sold in the United States and the United Kingdom from the 1960s through to the 1980s. It was reintroduced in the United Kingdom under official licence in late 2014 by Healthpoint Ltd.

The fragrance was originally developed by the Leeming division of Pfizer and launched in 1967. As well as the original Hai Karate fragrance, versions named Oriental Lime and Oriental Spice were soon introduced. It competed successfully with such other brands as Aqua Velva, Old Spice, Jaguar, English Leather, British Sterling, Dante, and Brut before fading away in the 1980s.

Hai Karate is best remembered today for its television adverts and its marketing plan, with a small self-defence instruction booklet sold with each bottle to help wearers fend off women. In the UK spots, a stereotypical nerd covers himself in Hai Karate and is promptly seduced by a female passer-by played by British starlet Valerie Leon; similar ads ran in the US as well. All of the spots contained the catch phrase “Be careful how you use it”. (Wikipedia link)

The karate of Hai Karate is of course the name of the Japanese (originally Ryukyan) martial art:


(#4) kara te ’empty hand’

The hai of Hai Karate is the Japanese ageement particle, often translated as ‘yes’, but more accurately as something like ‘I agree with you, that is correct’.

And then there’s the red rising sun, as on the Japanese flag:

(#5)

Dirk Diggler and his diggler dirk. Yes, the name is totally loaded phallically — well, it’s a porn name in a parody of a porn biography, so what do you expect? (Wish I had remembered more of the dream, beyond the fact the other male character in it discovered that his actual father was someone at least as remarkable as Dirk Diggler.)

From Wikipedia:

The Dirk Diggler Story is a 1988 mockumentary short film written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. It follows the rise and fall of Dirk Diggler, a well-endowed male porn star. The character was modeled on American porn actor John Holmes. The film was later expanded into Anderson’s successful 1997 breakout film Boogie Nights.

Dirk Diggler (Michael Stein) was born as Steven Samuel Adams on April 15, 1961 outside of Saint Paul, Minnesota. His parents are a construction worker and a boutique shop owner who attend church every Sunday. Looking for a career as a male model, Diggler drops out of school at age 16 and leaves home. Jack Horner (Robert Ridgely) discovers Diggler at a falafel stand. Diggler meets his friend, Reed Rothchild (Eddie Delcore), through Horner in 1979, while working on a film.

Horner slowly introduces Diggler to the business until Diggler becomes noticeable within the industry. Diggler becomes a prominent model and begins appearing in pornographic films. Diggler has critical and box office hits which lead him to stardom. The hits and publicity lead to fame and money, which lead Diggler to the world of drugs. With the amount of money Diggler is making, he is able to support both his and Rothchild’s addictions. The drugs eventually cause a breakup between Diggler and Horner since Diggler is having issues with his performance on set.

After the breakup, Diggler tries to make a film himself, but it is never completed. He then attempts a music career, which is successful, but leads him deeper into drugs because of the amount of money he is making. He then stars in a TV show which is a failure, both critically and commercially. Having failed and with no work, Diggler returns to the porn industry, taking roles in low-budget homosexual films to help support his habit. On July 17, 1981, during a film shoot, Diggler dies of a drug overdose.

The film ends with a quotation from Diggler: “All I ever wanted was a cool ’78 ‘Vette and a house in the country.”

The Dirk Diggler Story was expanded into Anderson’s 1997 breakout film Boogie Nights with a number of scenes appearing almost verbatim in both films. Two actors had roles in both films; in Boogie Nights, Robert Ridgely played The Colonel, a pornography financier, and Michael Stein had a cameo appearance as a stereo store customer. The main differences betweenThe Dirk Diggler Storyand Boogie Nights are the mockumentary versus narratives styles in the former and latter films, respectively; Diggler’s stint in gay porn in the first film versus his prostitution in the second; and Diggler’s dying from an overdose in the first film versus his happy return to his former roles and lifestyle in the second.

The mockumentary was generally not well reviewed. From the Doomrocket site, “Uncultured: The Dirk Diggler Story”:

Aside from also planting the seed for what would eventually become Dirk Diggler, Anderson introduces us to a beta form of the most lovable yet moronic sidekick, Reed Rothchild, played fucking flawlessly by (also unknown) Eddie Delcore. Although thirty-one minutes is less than little time to tie in much beyond a surface story, it is inferred that Dirk and Reed had a romantic relationship and, in the ten minutes that Delcore is on screen, there is absolutely no doubt that this gigantic man loves Dirk. Deeply. Without question, Delcore is the show stealer, and his interpretation of Rothchild is respectfully reflected in John C. Reilly’s later depiction.


(#6) Eddie Delcore as Reed Rothchild

… As for The Dirk Diggler Story: the writing, the direction, acting, editing, what-have-you, well… it’s shitty, all of it.

On the second version, in the Wikipedia summary:

Boogie Nights is a 1997 American drama film written, produced and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. It is set in Los Angeles’ San Fernando Valley and focuses on a young nightclub dishwasher who becomes a popular star of pornographic films, chronicling his rise in the Golden Age of Porn of the 1970s through to his fall during the excesses of the 1980s. The film is an expansion of Anderson’s mockumentary short film The Dirk Diggler Story (1988), and stars Mark Wahlberg, Julianne Moore, Burt Reynolds, Don Cheadle, John C. Reilly, William H. Macy, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Heather Graham.

Despite its impressive cast, I was repelled by the moral universe of Boogie Nights. Not about the world of porn film-making — I write about that all the time, with considerable sympathy for the people who make their living in the business, and an analytic eye for the genre, but also with clarity about its pitfalls and failures. But about its combination of titillation and cheap moralizing. In considerable detail, from The Stranger website on 10/12/16, in “Jamie Hook on Boogie Nights: America Fears Cock”, 25th anniversary, originally published 10/16/97:

In the press kit for Boogie Nights, Mark Wahlberg informs us, “I put the script down and thought, ‘Well, this guy is a genius.'” Newsweek speaks of “A filmmaker with an enormous talent for making movies”; Filmmaker calls the movie “a virtuoso accomplishment.” Perhaps it’s Oscar time for Marky Mark, whisper others. Behind it all, the prodigal director: Paul Anderson, 26-year-old genius. Jesus Christ, what a sad nation.

Boogie Nights tells the story of lonely dreamer Eddie Addams (Wahlberg), a boy with little more than a huge cock to guide him through life. No less an authority than his mother tells us he’s stupid, in case we’d had doubts. But Eddie is a tragic hero: he’ll be someone, you just wait.

Sure enough, his huge cock soon attracts the attention of Jack Horner (Burt Reynolds), a soulless, cauldron-born producer, who gives his magnificent member a purpose in life. The cocaine and money start flowing; Eddie renames himself Dirk Diggler, and starts using his huge cock to fuck porn stars (Julianne Moore, Heather Graham) in dirty movies. His cock is big and tireless: soon he is Dirk Diggler, Millionaire. He owns a mansion and a yacht.

Ah, but we know Anderson is a genius. He is therefore loathe to ignore the precedents of Sophocles and Aristotle: Pride goeth before a fall, and so fall Dirk must. In the movie’s Oedipal second act, we follow Dirk to his tragic fall, in a pickup truck in a West Hollywood parking lot, washed up, coke-addled, trying to inflate his huge cock for $10 for what appears to be a damn queer. The monument will not be erected and so Dirk must be brutally fagbashed by bullies. Then: the requisite bloodbath, and a happy ending. Applause, critical praise — fucking dipshits.

What makes Boogie Nights worth leaving the country for is the terrifying smugness with which it slouches toward simple moralizations. In its heart Boogie Nights holds a cold, twisted chastity, redolent of repressed puritanism and abject judgment. When Interview magazine calls it “one of the most morally responsible films of the decade,” we should pause to question what indeed that morality is.

It is worrisome that the only “sex scene” in an epic about sex is dumped on Nina Hartley, a true-life porn star; it is distinctly grotesque that her action merits her being the first in the film to have her head blown off in a two-for-one plot point and act of Holy Retribution. Her death is merely the first in the film’s drunken weave down the moral high road. If not death, it’s drug addiction, or poverty, or a beating. The message writ large in lightning: Slutty Behavior begets Misery, Pain, and Death.

Boogie Nights is a shining example of the mediated experience Hollywood is so good at delivering to an opiated nation. You may be titillated by the premise, aroused by the faux porn, caught up in the heady, cocaine-drenched flush of success… but then you will be whisked into dysfunction, massaged into guilt, beaten into submission, and finally cleansed by the Holy Water of the Happy Ending.

And there’s a final insult: We never see cock. Not Dirk’s, not anyone’s. We should. The entire movie is about how far a huge cock can get you. By god, it should fill the wide-screen, it should blast off into the auditorium in Surround Sound — but it never happens. Americans, it seems, fear cock. Thus, a two-point-five-hour epic about a huge cock ends in a flaccid shot of a counterfeit. It’s fake: a piece of wax, poorly grafted onto Marky Mark’s little motivator. A dildo. A red herring.

Don’t see this movie. Don’t advance the march of darkness. Instead, go straight to Starlight Video, Capitol Hill’s newest and friendliest (outside Toys in Babeland) adult video store, specializing in vintage smut. Sergio, the owner, didn’t think much of Boogie Nights either, but he will gladly guide you to a film called Eruption. Filmed on Hawaii and starring the legendary John Holmes as an insurance agent gone bad, the film features gloriously bad acting, pointless and aimless action sequences, and a more honest, if less recognizable, boogie soundtrack. It is stupid, but it is not evil. And, in a curious way, it is real, at least in one significant aspect: John Holmes really did have a huge cock.

 

Jo Flamingo

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(Men, in skimpy underwear, projecting steamy homo-desire; compact captions of puzzling free poetry; reflections on playful fetishwear. No X, but not to everyone’s taste.)

From Daily Jocks yesterday, continuing a mini-series with models who aren’t your standard high-butch Euro muscle-hunks, this time featuring a young man I’m calling Jo Flamingo.

(#1)

Muscle Twinko his
Marco Harness
Flamenconess
Flamingolous

The ad copy (untouched by any editing from me):

Get on board with The NEW Nautical Collection! This exciting new print features Flamingos on top of blue and white stripes.
The collection features a Swim Brief, Harness & two Briefs (including one with a cheeky low cut rear!) you’ll be the hit of every party in any of these.

(#2)

jo flamingo and the
flaming flemings

jo joe flamengo
in go pinko tinkle
bell ballston blackie
bitch slappin tickle is
butt tingle is nuts

(On flamenco, flamingo, and Fleming, see my 2/11/14 posting “flamenco”.)

The languidly seductive guy on the right has a supertight butch haircut and facial hair — but all in pink, like his lips. These guys are definitely not your grandfather’s underwear models.

The homowear. Sexy playful pinkness. Swim brief, harness, brief, and “half moon brief” — the last (combined with a shoulder strap harness on the middle guy in #2) unremarkable from the front, but notable from the rear (below, on a standard swimmer-body Euro-guy model):


(#3) Party time at Cleft House!

Then there ‘s the Nautical harness, a “poly span” (polyester spandex) fabric garment similar in form to a bulldog harness, also sharing one of its functions, displaying the wearer’s pecs and especially his tits. Otherwise it’s essentially decorative — not that there’s anything wrong with that — not much use for restraint or for hitching up with other fetishwear.

A classic leather bulldog, with standard gear (framing majorly hard tits, plus a sweet ingratiating smile):

(#4)

And then an intermediate bulldog in neoprene — tight and constraining, but without any rings or other connectors:

(#5)

(#4 and #5 crotch-cropped so you can focus on the men’s upper bodies.)

The Three Marcos, the Three Marcusites

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(Hunky men in skimpy underwear, but otherwise not alarming. And it will take you to some surprising places.)

Today’s Daily Jocks guy, for Marcuse underwear, with the ad copy (lightly edited):


(#1) Marco Brown, the pool boy with a white thong in his heart

Sporty & sexy, the premium Egoist collection from Marcuse will give everyone around you wild thoughts. Available in 2 colors [white and navy] and 3 styles, jockstrap, [bikini] brief & thong.

The first of the Three Marcos. On to the others…

(On the underwear from the Australian firm, see my 9/8/15 posting “Marxuse”, about Marcuse swimwear and underwear and the Marxist Herbert Marcuse.)


(#2) Marco Red, a lean and hungry man in the Navy


(#3) Marco Blond, a tall blond man in one white brief

The Three Marcos, or as they are known in their native Italian and Spanish (they are all bilingual), respectively I Tre Marchi and Los Tres Marcoses.

Outside of their modeling careers, after dark, they become the fabulous Three Marcusites, originally billed as The Three Marquesas (It. Le Tre Marchese, Sp. Las Tres Marquesas) — before they settled on their signature drag, black gowns with marcasite and silver jewelry.

The gowns. Marcusite Brown, the most traditionally minded of the three, has chosen this wonderful classic ball gown in black:

(#4)

The more daring Marcusite Red has gone for this slinky sleeveless off-the-shoulder, slit-skirt number:

(#5)

And the boyishly playful Marcusite Blonde has opted for an outrageous creation with a mermaid-theme bosom

(#6)

I’m sorry to say that there are as yet no videos, or even photographs, of the Marcusites in action — they’re justly famous for their over-the-top versions of traditional murder ballads and their offshoots, like “Frankie and Johnny”  (“He was my man, but he done me wrong”), the Rodgers and Hart “To Keep My Love Alive”, and the Beatles song “Rocky Raccoon” — since they perform only for small select audiences in private.

Linguistic digression.

It. marchese ‘marquis’ pl. marchesimarchesa ‘marchioness’ pl. marchese

Sp. marqués ‘marquis’ pl. marquesesmarquesa ‘marchioness’ pl. marquesas

Then on the English, from NOAD:

noun marchioness: [a] the wife or widow of a marquess. [b] a woman holding the rank of marquess in her own right. ORIGIN late 16th century: from medieval Latin marchionissa, feminine of marchio(n-) ‘ruler of a border territory’, from marcha ‘march’ (see march2).

noun march2, pl.noun (Marches):  [a] a frontier or border area between two countries or territories, especially between England and Wales or (formerly) England and Scotland: the Welsh Marches. [b] (the Marches) a region of east central Italy, between the Apennines and the Adriatic Sea; capital, Ancona. Italian name [pl.] [LeMarchedated

Gemological digression. From Wikipedia:

The mineral marcasite, sometimes called white iron pyrite, is iron sulfide (FeS2) with orthorhombic crystal structure. It is physically and crystallographically distinct from pyrite, which is iron sulfide with cubic crystal structure.

… In marcasite jewellery, pyrite used as a gemstone is termed “marcasite” – that is, marcasite jewellery is made from pyrite, not from the mineral marcasite. … Marcasite in the scientific sense is not used as a gem due to its brittleness.

On the name, from NOAD:

ORIGIN late Middle English: from medieval Latin marcasita, from Arabic marqašīṯa, from Persian.

More on the jewelry, from Wikipedia:

Marcasite jewelry is jewelry made from pyrite (fool’s gold), not, as the name suggests, from marcasite. Pyrite is similar to marcasite, but more stable and less brittle. It is frequently made by setting small pieces of pyrite into silver. Cheaper costume jewelry is made by glueing pieces of pyrite rather than setting. A similar-looking type of jewelry can be made from small pieces of cut steel.

… Marcasite jewelry has been made since the time of the Ancient Greeks. It was particularly popular in the eighteenth century, the Victorian era and with Art Nouveau jewelry designers.

When Prince Albert died in 1861 Queen Victoria entered a period of mourning, requiring her entire court to wear black and avoid opulent jewelry. Marcasite became popular as an understated alternative for the nobility.

Memory of my teenage years: my mother was fond of marcasite jewelry, so my parents’ costume jewelry shop carried a good bit of it. Such a contrast to the gaudy rhinestones. I admired it as jewelry, but liked it even more for its chemistry.

The jewelry. The Marcusites have chosen marcasite and silver jewelry to suit their gowns. For Marcusite Bown, just a heavy intricate ring:

(#7)

For Marcusite Red, this necklace with matching earrings:

(#8)

And for Marcusite Blonde, an especially bold ring and a bracelet (one worn on each wrist), leaving her remarkable cleavage unencumbered by jewelry,

(#9)

(#10)

But the food. Enough of fashion and music, let’s talk food. The mention of the (Le) Marche region of Italy led me immediately to thoughts of Ada Boni’s Italian Regional Cooking

(#11)

and its chapter on Umbria and the Marches. (On Boni, see my 10/4/13 posting “Marcella Hazan”, with its section on her.)

The regions within Italy:

(#12)

This map converted into a quick food guide:

(#13)

From Boni’s book, on Umbria and the Marches, a page with a touristic photo of the Marches and some regional food:

(#14)

From the text, a bit about the wines of the region, which I mention here because Verdicchio is an occasional theme on this blog:

(#15)

On chicken Verdicchio at Felicia’s in North Boston (ok, over 50 years ago; don’t look for it now):

on 12/10/11, “Chicken verdicchio”

on 1/8/18, “Another visit to Felicia’s”

Think sautéed chicken breast, artichoke hearts, mushrooms, garlic, capers, lemon juice, and, of course, Verdicchio, on thin pasta, garnished with chopped flat Italian parsley, lemon slices, and some grated parmesan. I am salivating.

Union strong!

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(Men in skimpy underwear, but nothing actually scandalous. And there will be folk music, of a sort.)

It’s Labor Day, and you’re a guy, and you want to do something to celebrate working people (beyond enjoying the three-day holiday weekend, a product of the union movement). What to do?

Daily Jocks has your number: you’re hankering for a jockstrap, right? A really fine union-strong jockstrap:

(#1)

LABOR DAY FLASH SALE 🇺🇸
Get 20% off ALL Jockstraps for the next 24 hours!
Shop over 150 Jockstraps from all your favourite brands…

Sgt. Helsi, the Jumping Jack Flash, says:

Join the jockstrap army and see my world!

We are the jockstrap army
Every one of us with a basket
We all hate pants and shirts and shoes
Men: ready, aim, and flash it!

Raw recruits testing the gear:


(#2) BuzzFeed video here: Men wearing high-fashion jockstraps for a day

For the army’s marching song, compare these verses from Tom Lehrer’s “We Are the Folk Song Army” (from That Was the Year that Was (1965)):

We are the folk song army
Every one of us cares
We all hate poverty, war, and injustice
Unlike the rest of you squares

… So join in the folk song army!
Guitars are the weapons we bring
To the fight against poverty, war, and injustice
Ready, aim, sing!

(You can listen to  a concert performance of the whole song here.)

 

Waving your flag

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(Hunky male model in skimpy underwear and swimwear, comments on male bodies, but nothing X-rated — though not to everyone’s taste.)

It starts with the Daily Jocks ad on the 14th for its Underwear Club, featuring two shots of a Jor model I’ll call Carlos: in a tricolor “athletic brief” (red, white, blue, top to bottom) in the style called Navy; and in a differently arranged tricolor thong (blue, white, red, top to bottom) in the style called Frankie (perhaps to suggest France, whose flag is blue, white, red, left to right).


(#1) Carlos flagging Dutch?


(#2) The national flag of the Netherlands


(#3) Carlos flagging Yugoslavian? Or differently oriented French?


(#4) The Pan-Slavic Flag, which served for a while as the national flag of the Kingdom of Yugoslavia (adopted in 1918) — with later variants for other incarnations of Yugoslavia and for the various Yugoslav republics


(#5) The French tricolor

Background fluff from DJ (punctuation as in the original):

JOR Underwear & Swimwear, is a Colombian underwear and swimwear brand, which offers you the best products in price, quality, design and comfort!

Though the garments in #1 and #3 appear not to have been intended (at least primarily) as reproductions of flags, JOR/Jor is in fact into flags. Their Pride swimwear:


(#6)

[Brief digression. This would probably be the place to observe that Speedo-style swimsuts for men are designed to do two things: to put as much as possible of the wearer’s naked body on display, as an object of admiration and/or desire; and to highlight as much as possible of the remainder, to call attention to the two sexual foci of the male body, his genitals and his buttocks — but without actually exposing them. The swimsuit in #6 performs these functions admirably, while simultaneously flagging GAY in bright colors.]

Another JOR flag swimsuit:

(#6)

The ad copy:

The Germany Swim Brief by JOR is a patriotic look perfect for lounging by the pool, splashing your friends or showing off that sexy bod in the surf. The quick dry microfiber fabric forms a sleek, body-defining fit and features the colors of the German flag:

(#7)

In fact, the Underwear Expert site reported (in “Shake Your Flag For Jor Countries Swimwear” on  5/20/14) that

Jor Countries Swimwear is now available in briefs and shorts ($39.90) with flag motifs. Russia, Union Jack, Germany, Colombia, Mexico, Italy, and France’s flags just for you. Whether you’re actually showing off the same country as your passport, or just feel like an homage to the romance of the old country — you can’t go wrong with these.

One part Olympic, another part chic, a third part national fetish — most men can find a way to wear these not just with confidence but pride. And let’s face it, some of these flags are pretty damn cool. Made out of 84% nylon and 22% spandex for all your comfort needs.

One more appearance of our Carlos, waving his Colombian flag and his Colombian ass:

(#8)

The flag by itself:

(#9)

Homowear bonus: flagging maple. JOR seems not to have embraced the Canadian flag yet, but another company, Cover Male, has rushed in to fill the breech, exploiting the red maple leaf as a design element in a variety of ways. Among their offerings:


(#10) The boxer swim trunk, with flanking maple leaves


(#11) The boxer swim trunk from the rear; the leaf marks the spot


(#12) The boxer trunk underwear, with balls wrapped in maple leaves


(#13) The bikini brief, with framing maple leaves

All very entertaining, but I miss Carlos and his many moods. Proud gay warrior Carlos, intense and challenging; broadly smiling homeboy Carlos; contemplative German Carlos; sexy-buddy Dutch Carlos; and, my favorite, Carlos #3, all blue, white, and red, staring expectantly into his gay Colombian future, with his hot French boyfriend on the Montenegran coast.


The news for shoes

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… and toucans, but not, surprisingly, pandas, despite the brand name.

Originally encountered in ads from the Footwear etc. stores (a California chain with a store on University Ave. in Palo Alto): Wanda Panda,

We Are Wanda Panda

Shoes, ankle boots and sandals for women. Made in Spain. [The company’s headquarters are in Alicante, on the Costa Blanca]

Hours of attention: Monday to Thursday, 9:00 – 13:00, 16:00 – 18:00, Friday 9:00 – 13:00 [notably Spanish hours]

Phonemically /wandǝ pændǝ/ in English, apparently involving the bamboo-eating bear Ailuropoda melanoleuca (I have two friends with the panda as a very serious totem animal, so I’m alert to pandas) — but phonemically /wanda panda/ in Spanish, with no allusion to (el) panda ‘panda’ at all; instead the reference is to (la) panda ‘gang, crowd, group of friends’ (in European Spanish slang). And the Wanda Panda mascot is a cartoon toucan (tucán in Spanish):

(#1)

Some notes on the shoes. And then a digression on why Wanda and panda don’t rhyme in English (though they do in Spanish).

But first, a little bit more about the company. Some evocatively poetic ad copy on their site:

Close your eyes, take a deep breath and remember those pleasant times in the past when you were so at ease. Just think how comfortable you felt. A precious moment that you want to relive again.

This is our reason to be and the reason why we created Wanda Panda We want our designs to enable you to experience that sensation each day.

A footwear line inspired by the Mediterranean breeze. They will become part of your style, the way you dress, and your own charisma as soon as you start wearing them.

Then from the Footwear etc. site:

Wanda Panda is a fun, energetic brand with beautifully crafted shoes for women made in Spain. With a focus on travel, nature and people, they craft their cork shoes in a way to bring happiness to anyone who wears them!

[Side note on modifier attachment: the phrase made in Spain is intended to modify beautifully crafted shoes for women — that’s high attachment (HA) — rather than women — low attachment (LA) — but few readers will note the potential ambiguity, despite a default preference for LA in parsing, because the  ‘women made in Spain’ interpretation is anomalous in the real word, and because the passage is about shoes, not women.]

Three of their sandals: one that counts as a flat and two wedges:


(#2) Becky flat in burgundy


(#3) Madonna wedge in beige


(#4) Izel (high) wedge in moss

The model names for the sandals are mostly straightforward women’s given names: Becky, Brenda, Salome, Marlene, Iris, Iva, Meryl, Wanda (yes, you can buy a Wanda Panda Wanda), Adelaida, Madonna, Bea, Bilma, Tamina

[Digression on English spelling. One of the little (well-known) regularities in the Englisjh spelling-to-sound mapping is that in positions where the letter A would be expected to have the pronunciation /æ/, it is instead pronounced /a/ when it follows a syllable-initial letter W (representing /w/). This is a remnant of a historical sound-change, and the details are not immediately relevant here, but the effect is quite general.

Here’s a small table of representative words with a syllable-initial labial consonant followed by the letter A in a position where A would normally be pronounced /æ/. In the first column are words beginning with the labial /w/; in the second are words beginning with other labial consonants /p b m/; the paired words are otherwise identical in spelling; in the first column, A represents /a/, but in the second, /æ/.

(#5)]

In any case, in Spain, Wanda Panda appears to be panda-free.

Mornings in Greece and Rome

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Two morning names: from the 8th, the Greek dessert wine mavrodaphne; and from the 9th, the garment peplum (the ancient Roman garment, based on the Greek peplos; the modern flounce in women’s clothing — and more).

Mavrodaphne. From Wikipedia:


(#1) Loukatos mavrodaphne

Mavrodaphni, Mavrodaphne, or Mavrodafni (Greek: Μαυροδάφνη lit. ‘black laurel’) is both a black wine grape indigenous to the Achaea region in Northern Peloponnese, Greece, and the sweet, fortified wine first produced from it by Gustav Clauss in around 1850.

… Mavrodaphni is a dark, almost opaque wine with a dark purple reflected color and a purple-brown transmitted color. It presents aromas and flavors of caramel, chocolate, coffee, raisins and plums.

The Achaia Clauss company is still in the mavrodaphne business:

(#2)

The company also produces retsina and an assortment of everyday table wines under the Demestica label.

Peplums. Two senses from NOAD; there’s a third to come:

noun peplum: [a] a short flared, gathered, or pleated strip of fabric attached at the waist of a woman’s jacket, dress, or blouse to create a hanging frill or flounce. [b] (in ancient Greece) a woman’s loose outer tunic or shawl. ORIGIN late 17th century: via Latin from Greek peplos.

In chronological order: first, a Greek peplos:

(#3)

And then, from modern times, a Mischievous Maiden burgundy peplum dress from the Lulus company:

(#4)

Then the extra. From Wikipedia:


(#5) A notable peplum film

The peplum film (pepla plural), also known as sword-and-sandal, is a genre of largely Italian-made historical or Biblical epics (costume dramas) that dominated the Italian film industry from 1958 to 1965, eventually being replaced in 1965 by Eurospy films and Spaghetti Westerns. They can be immediately differentiated from the competing Hollywood product by their use of dubbing. The pepla attempted to emulate the big-budget Hollywood historical epics of the time, such as Spartacus, Samson and Delilahand The Ten Commandments.

The terms “peplum” (referring to the tunic-style Greek and Roman garment often worn by characters in the films) and “sword-and-sandal” were used in a condescending way by film critics. Later, the terms were embraced by fans of the films, similar to the terms “spaghetti western” or “shoot-’em-ups”. Italian director Vittorio Cottafavi called the genre “Neo-Mythology”.

About the peplum in #5, from Wikipedia:

Il terrore dei barbari (Terror of the Barbarians), aka Goliath and the Barbarians, is a 1959 peplum loosely based on events of the Lombard invasion of Italy in AD 568. As with many Italian peplums of the time, the English dubbed version renamed some of the characters (for example, “Emiliano” became “Goliath”).

… American International Pictures released the film in the US with a new score by Les Baxter.

PUMP!ing it up

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(Homowear: male models in underwear, displaying their bodies homoerotically, with archly queer ad copy. Not X-rated, but not to everyone’s taste.)

The Daily Jocks ad for PUMP! underwear from the 15th:

(#1)

Underwear model as sculptural form. Mahogany Man.

The ad copy:

A creamy style with a tangy twist, the Creamsicle Access Trunk is everyone’s favorite flavor.

The comfort waistband offers a secure fit for the soft touch micro-mesh in the front and open, backless design in the rear.

A cut built for confidence, the Creamsicle Access Trunk features a supportive cup with a nearly naked feel, plus retro styling that adds a bold and playful touch for when you’re (un)dressed to impress.

Creamsicles. Creamsicle in the name is an allusion to the frozen treat with the brand name Creamsicle. From the Wikipedia article on Popsicles:

A Popsicle is a Good Humor-Breyers brand of ice pop consisting of flavored, colored ice on a stick.

In 1905 in Oakland, California, 11-year-old Francis William “Frank” Epperson was mixing a powdered flavoring for soft drinks with water. He accidentally left it on the back porch overnight, with a stirring stick still in it. That night, the temperature dropped below freezing, and the next morning, Epperson discovered the drink had frozen to the stick, inspiring the idea of a fruit-flavored ‘Popsicle’ [pop as in lollipop, –sicle as in icicle; following on this terminological innovation, –sicle has become a libfix of wide application].

In 1922, he introduced the creation at a fireman’s ball, where according to reports it was “a sensation”. In 1923, Epperson began selling the frozen pops to the public at Neptune Beach, an amusement park in Alameda, California. By 1924 Epperson had received a patent for his “frozen confectionery” which he called “the Epsicle ice pop” He renamed it to Popsicle, allegedly at the insistence of his children. Popsicles were originally sold in fruity flavors and marketed as a “frozen drink on a stick.”

… The Popsicle brand began expanding from its original flavors after being purchased by Unilever in 1989. Under the Popsicle brand, Unilever holds the trademark for both Creamsicle and Fudgsicle. Creamsicle’s center is vanilla ice cream, covered by a layer of flavored ice. Creamsicle flavors include orange, blue raspberry, lime, grape, cherry and blueberry. [The prototypical Creamsicle is orange-flavored (and -colored).] Fudgsicles are flat, frozen desserts that come on a stick and are chocolate-flavored with a texture somewhat similar to ice cream.

Classic (orange-flavored) Creamsicles:

(#2)

(The racily backless underwear in #1 is of course colored orange (and gray and white).)

And Fudgsicles, in their package:

(#3)

(Other companies make coated ice cream bars in various flavors, especially orange, under other names: Nestlé’s Orange & Cream Bars, Hood’s Orange Cream Bars, and Pillsbury’s Orangesicles, for example.)

(Popsicles, like lollipops, are classic phallic symbols.)

On the PUMP! company. From my 11/9/15 posting “PUMP! Boys and Trojans”, which has 5 mages from PUMP! underwear ads:

PUMP! specializes in gym-oriented images (pumping iron and all that), though they also have a few pretty-boy models and a lot of models doing the slutty rentboy look

And on pumping it up. Start with NOAD on some verbings of the noun pump:

verb pump: 1 [a] [with adverbial of direction] force (liquid, gas, etc.) to move in a specified direction by or as if by means of a pump: the blood is pumped around the body | [no object]:  if we pump long enough, we should bring the level up. [b] [no object, with adverbial of direction] move in spurts as though driven by a pump: blood was pumping from a wound in his shoulder. 2 [a] fill (something such as a tire or balloon) with liquid or gas using a pump: I fetched the bike and pumped up the back tire | my veins had been pumped full of glucose. [b] informal shoot (bullets) into (a target). 3 [a] move vigorously up and down: [with object]: we had to pump the handle like mad | [no object]: that’s superb running — look at his legs pumping. [b] apply and release (a brake pedal or lever) several times in quick succession, typically to prevent skidding. [c] Baseball move one’s arm as if throwing a ball held in the hand, but without releasing the ball: [in combination]:  behind the plate Howard double-pumped, then threw to second.

[idiomatic] phrasal verb pump something up: informal [a] increase: she needs to read and pump up her political grip. [b] turn up the volume of (music): let’s pump up those tunes, man. [c] give inappropriate support and encouragement to: we let them pump up our egos.

GDoS has more detail on the slang idiom:

verb pump up: 1 to exaggerate [cites from 1977, 1999] 2 (US black/campus) to make livelier, to fill with energy [cites from 1991, 2001] 3 to lift weghts, to bodybuild [cite from 1994]

adj. pumped (up) [< pump up]: 1 (US) excited, full of something, usu. oneself [1971 Current Sl. VI:8: Pumped. adj. Excited. 1991 (con. 1920s) O.D. Brooks Legs 90: The thought of running a pool room by myself  three hours a day, seven days a week, had me so pumped up hardly slept. 1992 J. Mowry Way Past Cool 265: Crack was intense, but cruelly quick. On top, where the boy had been a minute ago, you were pumped to the max. 2007 T. Dorsey Hurricane Punch 4: Can’t tell how glad I am it’s hurricane season again. I’m so pumped!

Mahogany Man in #1 is pumped up (enlarged) by bodybuilding, and the photo aims to pump the viewer up, to get the viewer pumped (up), to excite the viewer. That’s what PUMP! does.

Two more items from PUMP!’s recent product lines, including another Access item (backless, to provide easy access to the wearer’s ass):


(#4) “The PUMP! All-Access Trunk fits like a typical boxer brief, except the backless rear brings the playfulness, freedom, and added sexiness of the Jockstrap. This truly is a new style underwear that is guaranteed to heat things up, for whatever the occasion.”


(#5) “For the ultimate in comfort and style, opt for the Academy Free-Fit Boxer. The snug and supportive fit keep everything exactly where it should be, while the soft touch micro-mesh makes for a barely there feel. With its classic red, white and blue color combo, the Academy Free-Fit Boxer is truly the perfect pair — no matter what the day (or night!) holds.”

This steamy photo adds two elements to the crotch focus of the underwear: the pitsntits presentation (with shaved pits) and a central preoccupation with the  model’s pumped abs. Plus that face.

Another abs-obsessed ad from Daily Jocks, back in September, for sportswear from the Spanish company Code 22, here with shirt-lifting rather than pitsntits:

(#6)

And with a different, but equally intense, facial expression. Top to bottom: face, abs, crotch. Framed by sinewy arms.

[Added a bit later: there is now a Page on this blog with an inventory of shirt-lifting postings.]

The holidays of our lives

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(Near the end, there will be a hunky male model wearing nothing but a Halloween jockstrap. A warning in case you’d prefer to avoid a holiday men’s underwear discussion.)

Yesterday’s Zippy features a Dingburg-local idiomatic holiday:

(#1)

Of course, I immediately went to sources to discover what was celebrated on October 26th. Well, not only is October National Pumpkin Month, the 26th is the day specifically devoted to the fruit of Cucurbita pepo, this orange squash / gourd / melon / cucurbit: National Pumpkin Day. The day ushers in the Pumpkin Season, which is prefigured by a period in which pumpkin spice erupts as a ubiquitous descriptor of foods and much more (see my 10/20/17 posting “A processed food flavor”); which embraces a number of Halloween-specific cultural practices and symbols (jack-o-lanterns, dressing up in costumes, and trick-or-treating, plus witches and black cats as symbols — and orange and black as a decorative theme); and which is culinarily realized in pumpkin pie as a holiday food for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

So pumpkin pie can last you from mid-October to early January. Meanwhile, some riffs on the cartoon and some on edible pumpkiniana.

Formulaic language. Rich in the cartoon.

In the first panel, the bed-making and -lying-in-it idiom (akin to a proverb), with many variants in its details, for example, “You’ve made your bed, and now you must lie in it” — conveying that you have to accept the unpleasant consequences of your actions.

From the AHD Dictionary of Idioms:

make one’s bed and lie in it: Suffer the consequences of one’s actions. For example, It’s unfortunate that it turned out badly, but Sara made her bed and now she must lie in it. The earliest English citation for this oft-repeated proverb is in Gabriel Harvey’s Marginalia (c. 1590): “Let them . . . go to their bed, as themselves shall make it.” The idiom alludes to times when a permanent bed was a luxury, and most people had to stuff a sack with straw every night for use as a bed. There are equivalents in French, German, Danish, and many other languages.

Then in the title of the strip, “Quilt complex”, a bed-making play (significantly turning on orthography) on the guilt-complex idiom (from a rather formal, semi-technical register. From AHD:

noun guilt complex: an obsession with the idea of having done wrong: they have a guilt complex when it comes to alcohol

And in the third panel, a play (“Am I regressing yet?”) on “Are we having fun yet?” as a famous Zippy catchphrase, played with repeatedly in the strip. See my 8/31/10 posting “Dingburgers having fun”.

Then in the second panel, a different sort of formulaic expression, titles (in this case, of books). From my 12/22/16 posting “A show about nothingness”, Jean-Paul Sarte’s book Being and Nothingness (“a box of being”, “your nothingness”). And then from Wikipedia:

Nausea (French: La Nausée) is a philosophical novel by the existentialist philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, published in 1938. It is Sartre’s first novel and, in his opinion, one of his best works.

The novel takes place in ‘Bouville’ (literally, ‘Mud town’) a town similar to Le Havre, and it concerns a dejected historian, who becomes convinced that inanimate objects and situations encroach on his ability to define himself, on his intellectual and spiritual freedom, evoking in the protagonist a sense of nausea.

The food holidays. Somewhat overheated copy from the National Day Calendar site:

By October 26th, we in a frenzy of pumpkin obsession. We cannot wait for the big November holiday for pumpkin pie. No siree, we need pumpkin everything! Bars, cookies, coffee, cheesecake, pasta and oatmeal. Pumpkin Chunkin’, pumpkin patches, festivals, bake-offs and television specials. Let’s not forget jack-o-lantern carving, too! This fruit grabs American’s attention.

It turns out that October 26th is also National Mincemeat Day. An embarrassment of riches. From NOAD:

noun mincemeat: 1 chiefly British a mixture of currants, raisins, sugar, apples, candied citrus peel, spices, and suet, typically baked in a pie. 2 minced meat.

noun minceBritish something minced, especially mincemeat: put the mince on a dish.

More detail on mincemeat from Wikipedia:


(#2) Sunset Magazine‘s mincemeat pie, with a lattice top crust

Mincemeat is a mixture of chopped dried fruit, distilled spirits and spices, and sometimes beef suet, beef, or venison. Originally, mincemeat always contained meat. Many modern recipes contain beef suet, though vegetable shortening is sometimes used in its place. Variants of mincemeat are found in Australia, Canada, New Zealand, northern Europe, Ireland, South Africa, the United Kingdom and the United States. In other contexts mincemeat refers to minced or ground meat [primarily beef].

English recipes from the 15th, 16th, and 17th centuries describe a mixture of meat and fruit used as a pie filling. These early recipes included vinegars and wines, but by the 18th century, distilled spirits, frequently brandy, were being used instead. The use of spices like clove, nutmeg, mace and cinnamon was common in late medieval and renaissance meat dishes. The increase of sweetness from added sugars, and those produced from fermentation, made mincemeat less a savoury dinner course and helped to direct its use toward desserts. [The spirits, spices, and sugars all serve to preserve meat.]

… In the mid to late eighteenth century, mincemeat in Europe had become associated with old fashioned, rural, or homely foods. Victorian England rehabilitated the preparation as a traditional Yuletide treat. [The custom spread to the US, and extended itself from Christmas to ebrce American Thanksgiving as well.]

About the Sunset recipe, from the ABC News site:

This version of the traditional British pie leaves out the beef so the fruit can shine, but still includes suet (beef fat) for a rich taste and texture — although you can use butter instead if you like.

The filling has Gala apples, dried apricots, figs, or prunes, golden raisins, currants; chopped beef suet or unsalted butter; brown sugar, brandy; lemon zest, lemon juice, orange zest, allspice, cinnamon, cloves, ginger, salt.

The natural end development of mincemeat eliminates even the suet (so that mincemeat has no meat in it; mincemeat is then just  label, not even a partial  description). This is now probably the most common version of mincemeat in the UK and the US; commercial mincemeats in jars are almost all meatless. As here:

(#3)

Enough of mincemeat, back to pumpkin. Pumpkin pie (which will be with us for over two more months) led me to an assortment of recipes for things called pumpkin bars: in particular, Paula Deen’s recipe on the Food Network site: and “Paul’s Pumpkin Bars” on the allrecipes site. They’re very similar; both are rectangles of risen pumpkin cake (similar to carrot cake or applesauce cake). Deen’s bars:


(#4) Ingredients: eggs, sugar, oil, canned pumpkin (puree), flour, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, salt; with cream cheese frosting

The noun bar here refers to the rectangular shape of the food:

noun bar: 1 [a] a long rod or rigid piece of wood, metal, or similar material, typically used as an obstruction, fastening, or weapon. [b] an amount of food or another substance formed into a regular narrow block: a bar of chocolate | gold bars… (NOAD)

(Food bars with sides of equal length are often called, unsurprisingly, squares.)

My 10/9/18 posting “Fruit bars” takes us into the complexities of the categories within the larger domain of sweet food: The lemon bars there are something between COOKIE and CAKE, while the apricot bars (also called squares and (crisp) cookies) there are pretty clearly in the COOKIE category. Meanwhile, the pumpkin bars above seem to fall squarely in the CAKE category. All of these bars are rectangular finger food, rather than fork food, but differ in height.

[Digression: They are all different from the things referred to as candy bars, in ways that aren’t yet clear to me. From Wikipedia:

A candy bar is a type of sugar confectionery [in the category CANDY] that is in the shape of a bar. … A candy bar frequently, though not necessarily, includes chocolate ]

Pumpkin bars are closely related to carrot cake and applesauce cake. And in some ways, to American coffee cake and crumb cake. From Wikipedia:

Coffee cake is cake intended to be eaten with, or flavored with, coffee. British coffee cake is a sponge flavoured with coffee. They are generally round and consist of two layers separated by coffee flavoured butter icing, which also covers the top of the cake. Walnuts are a common addition to coffee cakes. In the United States, coffee cake generally refers to a sweet cake intended to be eaten with coffee or tea (like tea cake).

Coffee cakes, as an accompaniment for coffee, are often single layer, flavored with either fruit or cinnamon, and leavened with either baking soda (or baking powder), which results in a more cake-like texture, or yeast, which results in a more bread-like texture.

… American coffee cake: A variety of crumb cake (Streuselkuchen) which contains flour, sugar, butter and cinnamon granules on top

From NOAD:

noun streusel: [a] a crumbly topping or filling made from fat, flour, sugar, and often cinnamon. [b] a cake or pastry with a streusel topping [crumb cake]. ORIGIN from German Streusel, from streuen ‘sprinkle’.

As if the scene weren’t already quite complex, there’s a category distinction between CAKE and (sweet) BREAD. I’ll start with banana bread, because of its intriguing history. From Wikipedia:

Banana bread is a type of bread [served in slices] made from mashed bananas. It is often a moist, sweet, cake-like quick bread; however, there are some banana bread recipes that are traditional-style raised breads.

… Banana bread first became a standard feature of American cookbooks with the popularization of baking soda and baking powder in the 1930s. It appeared in Pillsbury’s 1933 Balanced Recipes cookbook, and later gained more acceptance with the release of the original Chiquita Banana’s Recipe Book in 1950.

National Banana Bread day is 23 February. Bananas appeared in the US in the 1870s and it took a while for them to appear as ingredient items for desserts. The modern banana bread recipe began being published in cookbooks around the 1930s and its popularity was greatly helped by the introduction of baking powder on the market.

Similarly, carrot bread, zucchini bread, and, yes, pumpkin bread. From Wikipedia:


(#5) Pumpkin walnut bread

Pumpkin bread is a type of moist quick bread made with pumpkin. The pumpkin can be cooked and softened before being used or simply baked with the bread (using canned pumpkin renders it a simpler dish to prepare). Additional ingredients include nuts (such as walnuts), and raisins.

Pumpkin bread is usually baked in a rectangular loaf pan, and is often cooked in late fall when fresh pumpkins are available. It can also be made from canned pumpkin, resulting in a stronger pumpkin taste.

The orange pouch. As Halloween approaches, I leave the wonderful world of pumpkin food for another piece of Halloween mail that came yesterday, from the Daily Jocks company: “Spooky Mystery Underwear!”:


(#6) Offering “DJ Halloween Mystery Underwear Multipacks”

The shot is re-used from an early DJ ad (for 2eros underwear), featured in my 6/21/18 posting “Up in the air, sky-high, sky-high”, where it’s #1. Admirable though the young man is, the focus of yesterday’s ad was the orange pouch of his jockstrap. Halloween orange. Which, it turns out, is a thing:


(#7) From the Colour Lovers site

The color is not quite the same as Princeton Orange (FF8F00 in hex), Princeton being complicatedly connected to William III of Orange (the William of William and Mary 1688 and all that) and the House of Orange-Nassau. As for jockstraps, these modern items postdate the Glorious Revolution by a couple of centuries.

Meanwhile, my pumpkin mail mounts up. It’s that time of year.

Annals of word retrieval: in promiscuous positions

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(Warning: embedded in this posting is a bit of — just barely euphemized — taboo vocabulary and the image of a hunky guy in his underwear.)

From Sim Aberson on 10/29, from WSVN, channel 7 in Miami FL:

BSO deputies arrest Dania Beach man in child porn case

Dania Beach, Fla. (WSVN) – Deputies have arrested a Dania Beach man on numerous child pornography charges.

The Broward Sheriff’s Office arrested 66-year-old Roger Aiudi on Thursday following a months-long investigation by the agency’s Internet Crimes Against Children task force. Investigators said Aiudi had 13 pornographic images of children and dozens of other images showing children in promiscuous positions.

Well yes, not promiscuous ‘having or characterized by many transient sexual relationships’, but provocative ‘arousing sexual desire or interest, especially deliberately’ (NOAD definitions). This is a very likely sort of word retrieval error, since the words are similar phonologically (sharing the accent pattern WSWW and sharing the initial syllable /prǝ/) and morphologically (both ending in Adj-forming suffixes, –ous vs. –ive) as well as semantically.

In fact, it’s possible that for the investigators who reported images of children “in promiscuous positions”, the word they produced was in fact the word they were aiming for. That is, for them, what was probably originally someone’s retrieval error has now become internalized. From the point of view of standard English, this would be a word confusion, but for them it wouldn’t be an inadvertent glitch that they would correct if they noticed it or you pointed it out to them; it would be what they think the appropriate word is. In time, the word confusion might even spread, with the result that promiscuous would develop a widely available new sense ‘arousing sexual desire or interest, especially deliberately’ that dictionaries would list. The word confusion of flaunt for flout has almost completed this course.

Even as a word retrieval error, the sort of thing I might fall into (but would correct if I became aware of it), promiscuous for provocative is of interest, because it straddles what are usually thought of as two distinct types of retrieval error: semantic errors and phonological errors (aka Fay-Cutler malapropisms). Sometimes the distinction is clear: from my files,

noun cluster for consonant cluster and teaching assistant for research assistant are straightforward examples of semantic errors

a preposition of brutal masculinity for a presentation of brutal masculinity and air traffickers for air travelers are relatively straightforward examples of phonological errors

But not infrequently both effects are operative — as in this example reported by Ron Butters in ADS-L on 2/15/08:

There were two restaurants in Durham, NC, named “Fowlers” and “Fosters.” People misspoke, miswrote, and misremembered them.

They are quite similar both semantically and phonologically, so are prime targets for error.

promiscuous and provocative. The condensed versions, from NOAD:

adj. promiscuous: 1 having or characterized by many transient sexual relationships: promiscuous teenagers | they ran wild, indulging in promiscuous sex and experimenting with drugs. 2 [a] demonstrating or implying an undiscriminating or unselective approach; indiscriminate or casual: the city fathers were promiscuous with their honors. [b] consisting of a wide range of different things: Americans are free to pick and choose from a promiscuous array of values and behavior.

adj. provocative: [a] causing annoyance, anger, or another strong reaction, especially deliberately: a provocative article | provocative remarks about foreign policy. [b] arousing sexual desire or interest, especially deliberately.

Note: NOAD orders senses roughly according to their frequency in current usage — not according to their historical development. The point is that a sexual sense is highly salient for promiscuous, but less so for provocative — tipping the scales towards retrieving promiscuous for the intended meaning.

[Digression. The semantic connection between provocative and promiscuous goes beyond mere reference to sexual activity. Part of the sexual folklore of our culture is that someone who behaves in a (sexually) provocative fashion, for instance by posing for racy photos, will be assumed to be making themselves available for sexual connection — that is, will be assumed to be promiscuous. Provocative implicates promiscuous.

This assumption, and the language surrounding it, is almost always applied to women, women being taken to be the vessels of sexuality. Only rarely do we talk about men being sexually provocative (aggressive, yes, but provocative, not so much) or being promiscuous (horndogs, yes, and players, but not promiscuous, certainly not sluts). But, of course, in contexts where male homosexuality is salient, the language of female wantonness can be imported wholesale as applying to men.

Which brings me to this week’s excellent underwear find, the Andrew Christian FUKR Provocative Brief:

AC sells very high-end playful homowear; this item is the Provocative model from his FUKR collection. From the AC website, this little hymn to Provocative briefs:

Our FUKR Provocative Brief is screaming your name. You’re pretty provocative yourself. In bright, fire-engine red fabric with the look and feel of Latex, this brand new style features sleek black contrast trim and our slimming FUKR print waistband. And wearing this new pair will feel like you’re not wearing any underwear at all. Its revolutionary hang-free design is anatomically correct with no hidden cups, straps or padding, and gives you extra room in front, just where you need it. When you pull it on, your package will fall naturally into the super soft snuggle pocket to create a truly enjoyable, unique wearing experience. We’ve virtually eliminated sticking, squashing, re-adjusting, sweating and chafing. Sexy and shiny, you need this limited edition style.]

Back to lexicography. Extracts from the longer version for promiscuous, from OED3 (June 2007):

A. adj.
1. a. Done or applied with no regard for method, order, etc.; random, indiscriminate, unsystematic. [the earliest sense, closest to the etymology; 1st cite 1570]
…  c.  spec. Of a person or animal: undiscriminating in sexual relations. Also (of sexual intercourse, relationships, etc.): casual, characterized by frequent changes of sexual partner. [1st cite 1804]

To which I add two senses that are metaphorical developments of the sexual use, which I include because of their linguistic interest:

… 3. Chiefly Grammar. Of common gender; of either sex, of both sexes. Cf. epicene adj. 1. rare. [1st cite a1637 … 2003 V. Law Hist. Linguistics in Europe iv. 71 There are epicene or promiscuous nouns, such as [Latin] passer, ‘sparrow’.]
..  6. a.  Biology. Of a protein, organism, etc.: able to infect or interact with, or bind non-specifically to, a variety of hosts or targets. [1st cite 1972; the image is of something that will hook up with whatever is available in the context; this is parallel to a linguistic use I’ll comment on in a moment]

The earliest senses of promiscuous continue to be used in scientific contexts on occasion, to describe apparently random, rather than systematic, arrangements of things. Rocks promiscuously arranged within a stratum, for example.

And then in linguistics, we get a sense development way at the end of the scale, parallel to the biological ‘binding to a variety of hosts or targets’ use. Now routine in treatments of clitics and similar elements, when they are said to exhibit promiscuous attachment — attaching indiscriminately to whatever they are adjacent to. For example, English possessive Z in things like whoever you were talking to’s ideas ‘the ideas of whoever you were talking to’, where Z attaches to, forms a word-like unit with, the preceding word to. Z is happy to hook up with all sorts of words.

The technical terms promiscuous and promiscuity go back decades. I have no idea who used them first; the metaphor, though playful, is so natural that several people might have come up with it independently.

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